As the mom of a 3 year old I don't get out as much as I used to. That doesn't mean that I don't want to have a good time, it just means that my priorities are a bit different than those of a 21 year old. Last Friday I was invited to an event in Seattle that sounded marvelous! Good people, good food, good beverages, etc. I didn't have a baby sitter, so I figured I would forgo this particular party. As it turns out, the event was totally family friendly and my young daughter would have had a great time. By the time I found this out though, it was much too late.
This scene plays out many different ways all over the place. Parents are unsure if weddings, Christmas parties, Birthday parties, etc are going to be "kid friendly" or not, so they make their own decision without consulting with the host/hostess. While, on the other side of the invitation, the host/hostess is afraid to look tacky by announcing that children are not welcome. No bride wants to see her wedding reception reduced to a live reenactment of "Lord of the Flies." The real problem lies in the lack of communication. The host/hostess of an event has every right to restrict the guest count to adults only, and there are many ways of approaching this situation. In my experience, the best way is to spell it out for the guests. While there will occasionally be the guest who will ignore your request for adults only, most people will respect your decision and comply. On the other hand, we have seen a trend lately where the hosts provide childcare in a separate location (not too far from the main venue) in order to make it less stressful for the guests. Another option, if the concern is the mounting food bill, is to have a "kids buffet" made up of childhood favorites like macaroni & cheese, hot dogs, punch, cookies, and even pizza. Most caterers will take care of all of this for you.
We have all seen what happens when parents let their offspring go wild at someone else's expense. It's never pretty, and the fallout can include breakage of rentals, damage to the venue, and even the loss of friendship. The best thing to do is to clarify "the rules" before making plans to attend or not. We all deserve a great event!
Cheers!
Jayme
This scene plays out many different ways all over the place. Parents are unsure if weddings, Christmas parties, Birthday parties, etc are going to be "kid friendly" or not, so they make their own decision without consulting with the host/hostess. While, on the other side of the invitation, the host/hostess is afraid to look tacky by announcing that children are not welcome. No bride wants to see her wedding reception reduced to a live reenactment of "Lord of the Flies." The real problem lies in the lack of communication. The host/hostess of an event has every right to restrict the guest count to adults only, and there are many ways of approaching this situation. In my experience, the best way is to spell it out for the guests. While there will occasionally be the guest who will ignore your request for adults only, most people will respect your decision and comply. On the other hand, we have seen a trend lately where the hosts provide childcare in a separate location (not too far from the main venue) in order to make it less stressful for the guests. Another option, if the concern is the mounting food bill, is to have a "kids buffet" made up of childhood favorites like macaroni & cheese, hot dogs, punch, cookies, and even pizza. Most caterers will take care of all of this for you.
We have all seen what happens when parents let their offspring go wild at someone else's expense. It's never pretty, and the fallout can include breakage of rentals, damage to the venue, and even the loss of friendship. The best thing to do is to clarify "the rules" before making plans to attend or not. We all deserve a great event!
Cheers!
Jayme
2 comments:
Nicely put, Jayme. You were always welcome at parties when you were a little girl. In fact, I would get compliments on my superlative parenting efforts evidenced by your perfect and precocious table manners. Unfortunately, your younger brother's social skills did not prompt such accolades and alas, the invitations waned and we had to party at home on the visquine. We had fun though, eh? Jeremy sends his love. Love, Mom
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